Via Still Point, via Atrios you can listen to Neil Young's new album here
Thanks to Still Point for the link to the Living With War album. Listening to it now, great stuff from what I have heard so far. The tracks I have heard are very raw, powerful, (how can you say straight from the heart without saying straight from the heart?) "I just want to crank it up music but I cannot since I am at work" music. I wonder if another "ohio" will come from this album.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Nonesuch #143
The grass of spring covers the prairies,
The bean bursts noiselessly through the mould in the garden,
The delicate spear of the onion pierces upward,
The apple-buds cluster together on the apple-branches.
-- Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
The bean bursts noiselessly through the mould in the garden,
The delicate spear of the onion pierces upward,
The apple-buds cluster together on the apple-branches.
-- Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
Friday, April 21, 2006
Nonesuch #142 Friday Feast
I have been trying to figure out a post for today. I have seen this before on several folks blogs and figured, hey why not. So here goes:
Friday Feast
Appetizer
List 3 things you keep putting off.
1) Cleaning and reorganizing my house
2) Going to the beach
3) Buying a new DVD player
Soup
What do you feel is your greatest responsibility?
Taking care of myself, putting what is best for me ahead of others. I know that sounds selfish but who is going to look after me if I do not? A year ago, I would not have answered this question this same way.
Salad
If you could have starred in any movie, which one would you have wanted to be in and why?
Fiddler on the Roof. I have always wanted to play the part of Tevye. It is such a good role. I cannot explain it other than that. This answer could change at anytime so I should move on.
Main Course
What is an expectation you had as a child about being an adult and, now that you are grown up, you realize you were wrong?
Life would be easier all around as an adult cause I would be able to do what I wanted to when I wanted to with no one over my shoulder telling me no or do it like this. And as we all know that just isnt the truth.
Desert
When was the last time you had your car serviced?
8 months ago. Regular check up, oil change, tire rotation and inspection sticker. An old friend of mine met me at the dealership and we hung out while it was serviced.
That went quicker than I thought it would. Oh well.
Friday Feast
Appetizer
List 3 things you keep putting off.
1) Cleaning and reorganizing my house
2) Going to the beach
3) Buying a new DVD player
Soup
What do you feel is your greatest responsibility?
Taking care of myself, putting what is best for me ahead of others. I know that sounds selfish but who is going to look after me if I do not? A year ago, I would not have answered this question this same way.
Salad
If you could have starred in any movie, which one would you have wanted to be in and why?
Fiddler on the Roof. I have always wanted to play the part of Tevye. It is such a good role. I cannot explain it other than that. This answer could change at anytime so I should move on.
Main Course
What is an expectation you had as a child about being an adult and, now that you are grown up, you realize you were wrong?
Life would be easier all around as an adult cause I would be able to do what I wanted to when I wanted to with no one over my shoulder telling me no or do it like this. And as we all know that just isnt the truth.
Desert
When was the last time you had your car serviced?
8 months ago. Regular check up, oil change, tire rotation and inspection sticker. An old friend of mine met me at the dealership and we hung out while it was serviced.
That went quicker than I thought it would. Oh well.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Monday, April 17, 2006
Nonesuch #140
Neil Young has a new protest album to be released entitled Living with War. It was recorded earlier this month with a power trio and trumpet with 100 vocalists. Young calls it "a metal version of Phil Ochs and Bob Dylan.....metal folk protest?"
No release date so far as I can tell.
*update* Neil Young's new album will be posted online April 28.
*update#2* New album reviewed at rollingstone.com and it will stream on his website starting this Friday, April 28th.
Nonesuch #139 monday pictures
purple iris bloom opening from above
purple iris bloom opening
first miniature rose bloom of 2006
More photos at Here
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Nonesuch #138
It has been a long weekend with us having Friday off, nonetheless I am working this evening with what I think will be a slow evening. We don't open for another 30 min so I thought I would post a bit.
Songs I have been listening to 2-3 times in a row for the past few days:
iron and wine - trapeze swinger
mashed by DERT - kanye west/josé gonzález - get 'em high/lovestain
morphine - i'm free now
somehow forgot about morphine until reading about them on the internets somewhere, probably i guess i'm floating. I didn't get into them 10+ years ago cause my ex-girlfriend at the time was was really into them. She was introduced to them by the guy she was seeing/sleeping with( I am being nice today)so I wanted nothing to do with what she and he were doing. I must say I have been missing out. Time to catch up.
Ok, I did it. I made a profile on yahoo personals. I know I said I wouldnt go that dating route again but I was bored Friday afternoon so I made it. It is much better than okcupid but the downside is that it costs to make contact with potential matches. Am I ready to actually put money into finding date(s)? I do not know to be honest if I am even ready to be out there again. Oh well, it is there and if the time comes that I want to spend the money, the profile is up and ready to go. And wouldnt you know it...someone that I know from Greensboro is on there. We worked together at a camp one summer. It is nice to see a familiar face.
Cadbury creme eggs are half price now at Food Lion. WOOT!
**update** - had two people waiting for me to open up. Think it will be busy afterall.
Songs I have been listening to 2-3 times in a row for the past few days:
iron and wine - trapeze swinger
mashed by DERT - kanye west/josé gonzález - get 'em high/lovestain
morphine - i'm free now
somehow forgot about morphine until reading about them on the internets somewhere, probably i guess i'm floating. I didn't get into them 10+ years ago cause my ex-girlfriend at the time was was really into them. She was introduced to them by the guy she was seeing/sleeping with( I am being nice today)so I wanted nothing to do with what she and he were doing. I must say I have been missing out. Time to catch up.
Ok, I did it. I made a profile on yahoo personals. I know I said I wouldnt go that dating route again but I was bored Friday afternoon so I made it. It is much better than okcupid but the downside is that it costs to make contact with potential matches. Am I ready to actually put money into finding date(s)? I do not know to be honest if I am even ready to be out there again. Oh well, it is there and if the time comes that I want to spend the money, the profile is up and ready to go. And wouldnt you know it...someone that I know from Greensboro is on there. We worked together at a camp one summer. It is nice to see a familiar face.
Cadbury creme eggs are half price now at Food Lion. WOOT!
**update** - had two people waiting for me to open up. Think it will be busy afterall.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Nonesuch #137
I know everyone and their mother has talked about Gnarls Barkley so I will just say, listen to Crazy, rinse, repeat.
Been watching old VCR tapes, DVDs DVDs of TV shows etc more than actually watching TV lately. Last night I watched Jerry Seinfeld's I'm Tell You For The Last Time: Live on Broadway. Would really like to see him live in person. The show was polished and he was hitting on all cylinders, playing off the crowd as he went. Loved the intro, a funeral complete with a whos who of comedians from Alan King to Gary Shandling all surrounding a coffin full of bits of paper with jokes that Seinfeld had written over the years.
Wednesday night I watched Carlin on Campus. Now, George Carlin is perhaps my favorite standup of all time and that is saying a lot in my book. I was a huge Robin Williams fan back in the day and Jonathan Winters still cracks me up with skits he did 40 years ago. Anyway, Carlin was off this night in 1984, maybe it was new material for him but it was just a bad night. Even with him being off, he still carried the house with his observations of every day life including his "Place for My Stuff".
Battlestar Galactica: The miniseries - Need to get a new DVD player but what I have seen, I cannot say enough about the miniseries and the show itself. Damn good writing, damn good acting. And dare I say, better than the original that I loved growing up.
Been watching old VCR tapes, DVDs DVDs of TV shows etc more than actually watching TV lately. Last night I watched Jerry Seinfeld's I'm Tell You For The Last Time: Live on Broadway. Would really like to see him live in person. The show was polished and he was hitting on all cylinders, playing off the crowd as he went. Loved the intro, a funeral complete with a whos who of comedians from Alan King to Gary Shandling all surrounding a coffin full of bits of paper with jokes that Seinfeld had written over the years.
Wednesday night I watched Carlin on Campus. Now, George Carlin is perhaps my favorite standup of all time and that is saying a lot in my book. I was a huge Robin Williams fan back in the day and Jonathan Winters still cracks me up with skits he did 40 years ago. Anyway, Carlin was off this night in 1984, maybe it was new material for him but it was just a bad night. Even with him being off, he still carried the house with his observations of every day life including his "Place for My Stuff".
Battlestar Galactica: The miniseries - Need to get a new DVD player but what I have seen, I cannot say enough about the miniseries and the show itself. Damn good writing, damn good acting. And dare I say, better than the original that I loved growing up.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Nonesuch #136 deja vue all over again
Another friend did what my ex did. What the fuck? Is there something in the water that is making these girls go fuck the first cock that comes along when their relationship(s) is not turning out like they hoped? It is the easy way out of course. I know we are all human, and we make mistakes but how about some control with the spreading of the legs already. Once more I am at the crossroads of a friendship. Someone that I have known for many years, time invested. Do I cut the ties for my standards? As I said before, it wasnt done to me. But lying is lying, cheating is cheating. How do I know that they will not lie to me? Christ, I have issues.
It is all the same to me. And the thing that gets me the most is when the asshat that they cheat with moves on to his next conquest OR goes back to his girlfriend/wife and she will come crying, saying why did she let this happen AGAIN.
"Never again is what she swore the time before"
It is so frustrating to me as a single guy. I would like some type of relationship with someone but then so many girls have been screwed over by asshats that they are afraid to get into a relationship at all. So they end up having these flings with nice guys that turn into asshats. I am not cocky, I am humble in most of the things I do in life. And the older I get, the more I see that without being cocky on some level, the women are not going to stay around or even show interest. What happened to being the nice guy? That is all I know. I guess I am shit out of luck.
It is all the same to me. And the thing that gets me the most is when the asshat that they cheat with moves on to his next conquest OR goes back to his girlfriend/wife and she will come crying, saying why did she let this happen AGAIN.
"Never again is what she swore the time before"
It is so frustrating to me as a single guy. I would like some type of relationship with someone but then so many girls have been screwed over by asshats that they are afraid to get into a relationship at all. So they end up having these flings with nice guys that turn into asshats. I am not cocky, I am humble in most of the things I do in life. And the older I get, the more I see that without being cocky on some level, the women are not going to stay around or even show interest. What happened to being the nice guy? That is all I know. I guess I am shit out of luck.
Nonesuch #135 - from the good earth
iris and hosta
hosta up close and personal
purple orchid from Friends of the Library Luncheon
buds from miniature rose bush #1 - my parents gave me this rose 4 years ago. it has prospered and has grown to around 2-3 ft tall. when it blooms, the plant is covered.
my miniature roses and daylilies. I have 6 rose plants and 4 daylilies. The rose plants all have buds on them. it is still too early for the daylilies to bloom.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Nonesuch #134
I had a scary dream last night, I guess it is scary but not in the nightmare sense. Just in the, "god, I hope that this never happens in real life" type of way.
I dreamed I was back in college, I was on a huge campus. Guessing maybe it was UNCG but much much larger. I had a backpack on with books in it and I was traveling around campus maybe looking for where my classes were held or something. I was moving fast, not flying, maybe on a skateboard I could not see. I was traveling along and saw my ex's parents sitting on a bench and then I saw her. I sped up, tried to avoid them seeing me, but then I heard her calling my name, asking me to come back. Somehow, no matter how fast I was moving, she caught up with me and kept asking me over and over why I left her. I told her over and over, she knew why. I went to my dorm room and she followed but I was able to lock her out. I then somehow got permission to move to a new room, which was a cabin like place where I was the only person in a large room with bunkbeds. A few friends stopped by and I told them what was up and they said they would help keep my place a secret but sure enough my ex found me again. Then I woke up had a snack, watch some of Conan O'Brien, went back to sleep and wouldnt you know it, the dream picked back up where it had left off....that is all I remember.
Before Conan came on I caught the new Toby Keith song on Jay Leno's show. I just do not know what to say about the song. The song was called "Get Drunk and Be Somebody", and the album is called White Trash with Money. I wanted to change the channel until Conan came on but my remote control is broken so I was stuck(lazy, I know). As I was listening, I said to myself, this is not country music, this is, this is some bastardized Jimmy Buffett ripoff.(apologies to Jimmy Buffet and all Parotheads) Different strokes, I guess.
Proof 1975-2006
I had heard of him with his work with Eminem and D12 but didnt realize his solo debut album was Searching for Jerry Garcia(dropped on August 9. 2005, 10 years after his death). Proof noted, "Despite his genius Jerry Garcia died from drugs, stress, and poor diet. At one time or another we all struggle through one of those things, so in a way, we all have a little Jerry Garcia in us."
I dreamed I was back in college, I was on a huge campus. Guessing maybe it was UNCG but much much larger. I had a backpack on with books in it and I was traveling around campus maybe looking for where my classes were held or something. I was moving fast, not flying, maybe on a skateboard I could not see. I was traveling along and saw my ex's parents sitting on a bench and then I saw her. I sped up, tried to avoid them seeing me, but then I heard her calling my name, asking me to come back. Somehow, no matter how fast I was moving, she caught up with me and kept asking me over and over why I left her. I told her over and over, she knew why. I went to my dorm room and she followed but I was able to lock her out. I then somehow got permission to move to a new room, which was a cabin like place where I was the only person in a large room with bunkbeds. A few friends stopped by and I told them what was up and they said they would help keep my place a secret but sure enough my ex found me again. Then I woke up had a snack, watch some of Conan O'Brien, went back to sleep and wouldnt you know it, the dream picked back up where it had left off....that is all I remember.
Before Conan came on I caught the new Toby Keith song on Jay Leno's show. I just do not know what to say about the song. The song was called "Get Drunk and Be Somebody", and the album is called White Trash with Money. I wanted to change the channel until Conan came on but my remote control is broken so I was stuck(lazy, I know). As I was listening, I said to myself, this is not country music, this is, this is some bastardized Jimmy Buffett ripoff.(apologies to Jimmy Buffet and all Parotheads) Different strokes, I guess.
Proof 1975-2006
I had heard of him with his work with Eminem and D12 but didnt realize his solo debut album was Searching for Jerry Garcia(dropped on August 9. 2005, 10 years after his death). Proof noted, "Despite his genius Jerry Garcia died from drugs, stress, and poor diet. At one time or another we all struggle through one of those things, so in a way, we all have a little Jerry Garcia in us."
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Nonesuch #133 In a not to distant future
It seems I have developed a theme this week without actually thinking about it beforehand. MST3K has really been on my brain lately and now I will attmept to list all the shows I have seen. I will probably not be able to remember all but I guess trying to all I can do. So now in no particular order(but with help from DADDY-O's DRIVE-IN DIRT here we go:
I Accuse My Parents
Radar Men From The Moon
Magic Voyage of Sinbad
Bride of the Monster - Tor Johnson is my hero
This Island Earth
The Day the World Ended
The Mole People
The Amazing Colossal Man
Hercules
I Was A Teenage Werewolf
The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy
Viking Women and the Sea Serpent -"Welcome home, Greg Allman"
The Beatniks
Hercules Unchained
The Brain That Wouldn't Die
Daddy-O
Girls Town - "booodeeboodeedoo, I'm in reverse now."
The Girl in Lovers Lane - "Hey, Mr. Big Stupid, catch me!" thanks Julie
Santa Claus - Santa vs Pitch servant of Satan, no really it is.
Gorgo
The Phantom Plane
Red Zone Cuba
Eegah
The Atomic Brain
Hercules and the Captive Women
The Skydivers
Hercules Against The Moon Men
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Gamera - GAMERA!
Gamera Vs. Barugon - GAMERA!
Godzilla Vs. the Sea Monster
Manos, the Hands of Fate - "I am no longer Torgo, I am Torgo the White"
The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman
Gamera Vs. Gaos - GAMERA!
Gamera Vs. Guiron - GAMERA!
The Side Hackers - "come sidehackin with me"
Gamera Vs. Zigra - GAMERA!
Godzilla Vs. Megalon
Mitchell - "Mitchel!"
Angels Revenge
The Pumaman
Pod People - "he has renissance festival written all over him. HUZZAH!"
Cave Dwellers -"Your cape is fabuuulous!"
Alien From L.A. - "my puzzler hurts"
Time Chasers
Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
Samson vs The Vampire Women - aka Santo vs. The Vampire Women "go el santo, go el santo, go el santo go"
Mr. B Natural - "You gotta inspect your horn, boy..."
Hired!
Body Care and Grooming
Cheating
Junior Rodeo Daredevils
A Date with your family
The Rebel Set - "You are not beat, you are beaten"
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
Wow, more than I thought and I still feel I left some out. I would love to have all of these on DVD. I know I will be getting as many of the DVD box sets as I can.
Would love to remember more quotes, but such is life.
Oops, got to go...movie sign!
I Accuse My Parents
Radar Men From The Moon
Magic Voyage of Sinbad
Bride of the Monster - Tor Johnson is my hero
This Island Earth
The Day the World Ended
The Mole People
The Amazing Colossal Man
Hercules
I Was A Teenage Werewolf
The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy
Viking Women and the Sea Serpent -"Welcome home, Greg Allman"
The Beatniks
Hercules Unchained
The Brain That Wouldn't Die
Daddy-O
Girls Town - "booodeeboodeedoo, I'm in reverse now."
The Girl in Lovers Lane - "Hey, Mr. Big Stupid, catch me!" thanks Julie
Santa Claus - Santa vs Pitch servant of Satan, no really it is.
Gorgo
The Phantom Plane
Red Zone Cuba
Eegah
The Atomic Brain
Hercules and the Captive Women
The Skydivers
Hercules Against The Moon Men
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Gamera - GAMERA!
Gamera Vs. Barugon - GAMERA!
Godzilla Vs. the Sea Monster
Manos, the Hands of Fate - "I am no longer Torgo, I am Torgo the White"
The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman
Gamera Vs. Gaos - GAMERA!
Gamera Vs. Guiron - GAMERA!
The Side Hackers - "come sidehackin with me"
Gamera Vs. Zigra - GAMERA!
Godzilla Vs. Megalon
Mitchell - "Mitchel!"
Angels Revenge
The Pumaman
Pod People - "he has renissance festival written all over him. HUZZAH!"
Cave Dwellers -"Your cape is fabuuulous!"
Alien From L.A. - "my puzzler hurts"
Time Chasers
Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
Samson vs The Vampire Women - aka Santo vs. The Vampire Women "go el santo, go el santo, go el santo go"
Mr. B Natural - "You gotta inspect your horn, boy..."
Hired!
Body Care and Grooming
Cheating
Junior Rodeo Daredevils
A Date with your family
The Rebel Set - "You are not beat, you are beaten"
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
Wow, more than I thought and I still feel I left some out. I would love to have all of these on DVD. I know I will be getting as many of the DVD box sets as I can.
Would love to remember more quotes, but such is life.
Oops, got to go...movie sign!
Monday, April 10, 2006
Nonesuch #132 Monday, Monday
Going to try to write on things I have been meaning to write about but have not for whatever reason.
Who is this man with pecks like melons and knees of fringe?
Sometime ago I bought one of the box sets of Mystery Science Theater 3000, one of my favorite shows of all time. 3 features and Shorts Vol 1 came in this one including:
The Pod People, Angel's Revenge and Cave Dwellers. I can not even count the number of times I have watched Cave Dwellers. I first saw it in '91 or '92 at my college roommate's house over the summer. Of course, a copy was made and was brought back to college for many more viewings. There are so many quotables from the film both from the movie and from the Robots and Joel I am not even sure where I would start listing them.(see above title to this section)Just watching it brings back such good memories of those college days.
I attack the darkness!
A friend of mine that I have known since 7th grade came into town this past weekend. We went to the Car Show in Charlotte. Now, I am not that big into old cars and the like but it is pretty much the only time I can get together with my friend due to schedules etc, so we make a day of it. I did see some cool things at the show and I did come away with two items: sore leg muscles and a sunburn. Also, got all the latest info about what is going on where I spent 3 years: 7th, 8th and 9th grades. Found out that two old friends of mine are now married and I think have 3 kids. It took me offguard, wasn't sure what to think on it. See, the girl and I had "seen" each other back in the day. It really wasn't dating so to speak, we just hung out a lot one summer. Anyway, I realized and said to myself: "Self...a cool guy is with a cool girl and that is awesome." So, there you go.
I'm after Solo
For all I care he could be hiding at Yoda's dojo
New music found over the past week:
Hem: Great cover of R.E.M.'s South Central Rain.
The Glass Family - Check out Swimming in Fiction. Is this what would come from a mix of Wilco and Mecury Rev? Sounds good to me.
mc chris - Anyone that can rap about Boba Fett and get away with it, is ok in my book.
Cursive - Not sure about these guys yet. I do like their song The Martyr, but I feel more listenings are in order.
We only have a month left in this semester. Where has the year gone? I mean, I had plans for this semester, things I wanted to do. Well, thinking on it, I did accomplish much of what I planned to do. I realized a few years back that I plan for too much, get not enough done, but it all comes out in the end. Of course, since October, things just haven't been right with me on many levels. I don't like to put blame on others for the way I feel or act, for any reason, but dammit, my ex really screwed with me. I dont like this feeling, yeah I still have them anger in me, the bitterness. I still have trust issues with people, especially women and that is not a good thing. I am not mad at women, I am mad at one woman and I shouldnt be taking out my frustrations on anyone else but my ex isnt around and I am not going looking for her anytime soon. So, how do I get rid of the bitter and anger? I really do not know...Time you say? Yeah, I guess that time does heal all wounds. Therapy? Perhaps talking to someone objective, a new perspective on the issues could be helpful. I look back and I see patterns that I have repeated in my relationships and I want change. Just do not see anything positive happening on that front. I know I have
said many times on this blog and to my friends that I am done with relationships but I am lonely. We are social animals, we need contact, social interactions with others, postive or negative and sometimes one wants more than a friendship. I just dont know and I think that is the worst, not knowing.
Haven't played DDO much up until yesterday. I had so much fun with it even with all the problems I had with it and then I just stopped. And so did most of our guild. All about the same time. It really makes me wonder about the game. I had fun yesterday but we didnt get much done gamewise. My halfling paladin is well on his way to 3rd level which is always a good thing. And we got some nice items which can only help me get to 3rd level. Really been thinking of taking a break from online gaming for a bit. Guess I need a longer break from it. I just feel really anti-social right now yet I want to be around folks. I hate people but I like gatherings, ironic?
Who is this man with pecks like melons and knees of fringe?
Sometime ago I bought one of the box sets of Mystery Science Theater 3000, one of my favorite shows of all time. 3 features and Shorts Vol 1 came in this one including:
The Pod People, Angel's Revenge and Cave Dwellers. I can not even count the number of times I have watched Cave Dwellers. I first saw it in '91 or '92 at my college roommate's house over the summer. Of course, a copy was made and was brought back to college for many more viewings. There are so many quotables from the film both from the movie and from the Robots and Joel I am not even sure where I would start listing them.(see above title to this section)Just watching it brings back such good memories of those college days.
I attack the darkness!
A friend of mine that I have known since 7th grade came into town this past weekend. We went to the Car Show in Charlotte. Now, I am not that big into old cars and the like but it is pretty much the only time I can get together with my friend due to schedules etc, so we make a day of it. I did see some cool things at the show and I did come away with two items: sore leg muscles and a sunburn. Also, got all the latest info about what is going on where I spent 3 years: 7th, 8th and 9th grades. Found out that two old friends of mine are now married and I think have 3 kids. It took me offguard, wasn't sure what to think on it. See, the girl and I had "seen" each other back in the day. It really wasn't dating so to speak, we just hung out a lot one summer. Anyway, I realized and said to myself: "Self...a cool guy is with a cool girl and that is awesome." So, there you go.
I'm after Solo
For all I care he could be hiding at Yoda's dojo
New music found over the past week:
Hem: Great cover of R.E.M.'s South Central Rain.
The Glass Family - Check out Swimming in Fiction. Is this what would come from a mix of Wilco and Mecury Rev? Sounds good to me.
mc chris - Anyone that can rap about Boba Fett and get away with it, is ok in my book.
Cursive - Not sure about these guys yet. I do like their song The Martyr, but I feel more listenings are in order.
We only have a month left in this semester. Where has the year gone? I mean, I had plans for this semester, things I wanted to do. Well, thinking on it, I did accomplish much of what I planned to do. I realized a few years back that I plan for too much, get not enough done, but it all comes out in the end. Of course, since October, things just haven't been right with me on many levels. I don't like to put blame on others for the way I feel or act, for any reason, but dammit, my ex really screwed with me. I dont like this feeling, yeah I still have them anger in me, the bitterness. I still have trust issues with people, especially women and that is not a good thing. I am not mad at women, I am mad at one woman and I shouldnt be taking out my frustrations on anyone else but my ex isnt around and I am not going looking for her anytime soon. So, how do I get rid of the bitter and anger? I really do not know...Time you say? Yeah, I guess that time does heal all wounds. Therapy? Perhaps talking to someone objective, a new perspective on the issues could be helpful. I look back and I see patterns that I have repeated in my relationships and I want change. Just do not see anything positive happening on that front. I know I have
said many times on this blog and to my friends that I am done with relationships but I am lonely. We are social animals, we need contact, social interactions with others, postive or negative and sometimes one wants more than a friendship. I just dont know and I think that is the worst, not knowing.
Haven't played DDO much up until yesterday. I had so much fun with it even with all the problems I had with it and then I just stopped. And so did most of our guild. All about the same time. It really makes me wonder about the game. I had fun yesterday but we didnt get much done gamewise. My halfling paladin is well on his way to 3rd level which is always a good thing. And we got some nice items which can only help me get to 3rd level. Really been thinking of taking a break from online gaming for a bit. Guess I need a longer break from it. I just feel really anti-social right now yet I want to be around folks. I hate people but I like gatherings, ironic?
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Nonesuch #131 I'm It
Never done one of these before but Léonie tagged everyone that reads her blog so I feel obligated.
What was I doing 10 years ago - Working for CEMA distribution(Capitol Records)Well, we only had a month left, we were all laid off in May of 1996. Just moved into new apartment on other side of the city I was living in. Was looking for a new job, ended up at the temp agency where I landed the job at CEMA. Ended up working for Primestar.
Reunited with a friend from college who had been dating a guy I really didn't like. Saw Sting for the 3rd time. Was getting ready for two close friend's wedding in July of that year.
What was I doing 5 years ago - 4 months on the new job where I am still working today. First real library job after graduate school. Was emailing with the girl who is now my ex. We got together in July of that year. Was looking for a place to move closer to the library. Had an hour commute twice a day and that was getting old.
5 Snacks you enjoy:
peanut butter sandwiches
ice cream (all types)
snickers bars
pringles potato chips
guinness draught
5 Songs (you think) you know by heart:
Suitcase Calling - Polyphonic Spree
Brian Wilson - Barenaked Ladies
Army - Ben Folds Five
Quality of Armor - Guided by Voices
Tom Courtenay - Yo La Tengo
5 things you would do with a LOT of money:
Pay off my and my friend's debts
Buy land for a "farm" and build the house/cabin I have been thinking about for a few years now.
Upgrade to the lastest and best computer on the market. Would buy the parts and build it myself to get exactly what I want.
Get a few dogs and cats and miniature goats for the "farm"(see above)
guinness draught
5 Things you would never wear:
sport coat
short hair(does that count?)
jogging suit
swim suit/trunks
white socks
5 Things you should have never worn:
ripped on purpose stonewashed jeans
boxer shorts on the outside of my jeans(don't ask)
toilet chain for a necklace(you know, that was cool)
sport coat
Winger t-shirt
5 Things you enjoy doing:
Playing video games, both on computer and playstation2
blogging
listening to music
playing D&D
drinking guinness draught
5 Bad Habits you have:
spending too much time surfing the internet
procrastination
I let my house get a bit messy at times
Thinking too much about my life, the past, things I cannot change etc
drinking too much guinness draught(come on, is this really a bad thing?)
5 People you would like to do this:
Anyone that wants to. I am not the boss of you.
What was I doing 10 years ago - Working for CEMA distribution(Capitol Records)Well, we only had a month left, we were all laid off in May of 1996. Just moved into new apartment on other side of the city I was living in. Was looking for a new job, ended up at the temp agency where I landed the job at CEMA. Ended up working for Primestar.
Reunited with a friend from college who had been dating a guy I really didn't like. Saw Sting for the 3rd time. Was getting ready for two close friend's wedding in July of that year.
What was I doing 5 years ago - 4 months on the new job where I am still working today. First real library job after graduate school. Was emailing with the girl who is now my ex. We got together in July of that year. Was looking for a place to move closer to the library. Had an hour commute twice a day and that was getting old.
5 Snacks you enjoy:
peanut butter sandwiches
ice cream (all types)
snickers bars
pringles potato chips
guinness draught
5 Songs (you think) you know by heart:
Suitcase Calling - Polyphonic Spree
Brian Wilson - Barenaked Ladies
Army - Ben Folds Five
Quality of Armor - Guided by Voices
Tom Courtenay - Yo La Tengo
5 things you would do with a LOT of money:
Pay off my and my friend's debts
Buy land for a "farm" and build the house/cabin I have been thinking about for a few years now.
Upgrade to the lastest and best computer on the market. Would buy the parts and build it myself to get exactly what I want.
Get a few dogs and cats and miniature goats for the "farm"(see above)
guinness draught
5 Things you would never wear:
sport coat
short hair(does that count?)
jogging suit
swim suit/trunks
white socks
5 Things you should have never worn:
ripped on purpose stonewashed jeans
boxer shorts on the outside of my jeans(don't ask)
toilet chain for a necklace(you know, that was cool)
sport coat
Winger t-shirt
5 Things you enjoy doing:
Playing video games, both on computer and playstation2
blogging
listening to music
playing D&D
drinking guinness draught
5 Bad Habits you have:
spending too much time surfing the internet
procrastination
I let my house get a bit messy at times
Thinking too much about my life, the past, things I cannot change etc
drinking too much guinness draught(come on, is this really a bad thing?)
5 People you would like to do this:
Anyone that wants to. I am not the boss of you.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Nonesuch #129
How does one go about telling a girl who has been a long time friend that you have always had "feelings" for her? I guess this is a continuation of "The Friends" post from a few weeks back. Of course there is always the "I never thought of you that way" and the easy let down. Or, the chance that she has had thoughts similar to yours...Is it worth risking a good friendship that has lasted years? The chance that you lose the friendship totally is very real and I think that is what happens most of the time in real life.
How would one even breach the subject? "Oh, by the way...you wanna date me?" Not sure it happens that way. Maybe its the one too many movies from the '80s syndrome I think a lot of men and women my age have. You have a situation where you have two friends, male and female, where one has a crush on the other but cannot tell the other and somehow within 2 hours, it has been uncovered and when the credits roll, they are seen kissing and we are made to believe that they live happily ever after. Well, at least till graduation. "Some Kind of Wonderful" is the perfect example. I think "Pretty in Pink" it happens there as well. All I remember is that Duckie should have ended up with the girl in that one. And I think there are others but cannot think of them right now. I think I have gotten my point across, well sort of.
It is all about taking risks, isn't it?
Maybe it is just easier to not say anything at all, let the feelings stay inside, never take that chance - never get hurt, again.
Nonesuch #128 - Blast from the past
While looking over the Aquarium Drunkard site for new music, I stumbled upon WQFS Mayhem. I thought to myself, those call letters sound familiar and sure enough this is a blog from one of DJs (named J)from WQFS in Greensboro, NC where I went to college and graduate school. It is good to see and hear that the quality of music played on this wonderful college radio station has not diminshed. He has done two shows that he calls Cityscape, Minneapolis/St. Paul and one for Chapel Hill. (You will need to scroll down the page)
Great song lists for both.
**Call it a coincidental sign of our digital times or a reason to stay up late and stare at the clock. Either way, early Wednesday morning the time and date will be 01-02-03-04-05-06.**
Great song lists for both.
**Call it a coincidental sign of our digital times or a reason to stay up late and stare at the clock. Either way, early Wednesday morning the time and date will be 01-02-03-04-05-06.**
Monday, April 03, 2006
Nonesuch #127
Listed below are some of the new bands that I have come across thanks to sites like Pop Candy, An Aquarium Drunkard and Clever Titles Are So Last Summer. By the way, just saw this at An Aquarium Drunkard -
Re-united R.E.M. :: Country Feedback 2006
April 5, 2006 it will be R.E.M's 26th anniversary. Now that I think on it, I have been listening to them for just about that entire time. All of a sudden I feel a wee bit old.
More pictures
And now for the list:
The Whigs - Really like Technology and Violet Furs
Oh, and they are from Athens, GA.
Band of Horses - Bass Song is the song that got me hooked. Also check out Funeral, also the name of their album.
The National Recommend Secret Meeting highly.
The Vinyl Skyway - They do a great acoustic version of Bye Bye Badman by The Stone Roses. I came for the cover song and stayed for That Girl
Re-united R.E.M. :: Country Feedback 2006
April 5, 2006 it will be R.E.M's 26th anniversary. Now that I think on it, I have been listening to them for just about that entire time. All of a sudden I feel a wee bit old.
More pictures
And now for the list:
The Whigs - Really like Technology and Violet Furs
Oh, and they are from Athens, GA.
Band of Horses - Bass Song is the song that got me hooked. Also check out Funeral, also the name of their album.
The National Recommend Secret Meeting highly.
The Vinyl Skyway - They do a great acoustic version of Bye Bye Badman by The Stone Roses. I came for the cover song and stayed for That Girl
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Nonesuch #126 Alone vs Lonely
I was lonely long before I was alone. There is a difference. I was lonely even though I was with my ex but she was not near me(two+ hours away). There as email and the phone. Which toward the end neither was used much. Now, I am alone and the loneliness is even worse. At least then I could say that my being alone was temporary, she and I would be together one day(physically) but now I cannot even say that. So, alone I am again, once more, it doesn't feel good. I guess I am a loner, I like my me time but this is just getting to me now. Not sure why. I know I need to get away for a bit, and I plan trips, but I never do them. I just need to plan my trip and go. I am thinking of going to the beach Easter weekend, leaving Thursday after work and head down towards the coast, perhaps Wilmington or somewhere closer, down HWY 52 in SC and the coast. I am already talking myself out of it...its Easter Weekend, it will be crowded. You have to work Easter Sunday evening from 6-10, you will be worn out if you go, no one to go with me...shoot, my ex wouldnt go to the beach and now she lives in the hottest temp area in NC. More 100+ degree days there than anywhere else in NC. Anyway...
I said I would mention DDO sometime in a future post. Well, it it goes. DDO or Dungeons and Dragons Online is just that, an almost flawless recreation of the pen and paper classic to the computer world of multiplayer online gaming. First time I saw it, I was hooked. But there is little good from then on. My computer at home being a dialup took 5 days to download only for it to say I had a corrupt file and to start over. I downloaded it at work, put the file on my iPod to bring home, the iPod was not recognized by my computer. Still havent figured that one out yet. Tried to play it at work, not enough memory in the computer I was using. Ordered the game ahead of time to play in the beta release, couldnt because see above. Then when I got the game, I was sent the wrong one and had to send it back only to have them send it back cause I had opened it. So I ordered it from another store, got it and the real problems started. Dialup is supposedly supported but I have had more problems, had to change settings on my dial up and my video card even though the video card I have is supported. I will be playing the game and I freeze up, cannot go anywhere etc. This usually happens when I am in the middle of a fight with 5 others in a group. I usually die and or am left behind and die trying to get to where the group is now. I have some friends I run with in the game and they have gotten used to it but when I group with others, it is never a good time. Now for the game itself, there is little to no solo material. Now, I know D&D is about groups and adventures but if no one wants to group with me and none of my friends are on and there is no solo material for me to play, I am not playing the game. And, now it has started to become boring. I could go back to WoW, do not see the point. I am tired of it. Played it a year, now I am done. EQ2, I will never play, bad taste in my mouth from EQ1. I am thinking of getting The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, the 4th or 5th game in the Daggerfall world, solo in there. Uh...
This is not where I wanted to go when I started this entry. I was talking about how lonely I am and then I want to change to a non multiplayer computer game. Really shows just how mixed up I am. I am missing something in my life, that is what is causing my loneliness. What I am missing I have no clue. And the more I think on it, the less I know at all.
*Update* My computer will not run Oblivion as it is set up now. So, that game is also out of the running.
**Update #2** If anyone has any suggestions for a new computer game I can try out, leave them in the comments area of this post.
I said I would mention DDO sometime in a future post. Well, it it goes. DDO or Dungeons and Dragons Online is just that, an almost flawless recreation of the pen and paper classic to the computer world of multiplayer online gaming. First time I saw it, I was hooked. But there is little good from then on. My computer at home being a dialup took 5 days to download only for it to say I had a corrupt file and to start over. I downloaded it at work, put the file on my iPod to bring home, the iPod was not recognized by my computer. Still havent figured that one out yet. Tried to play it at work, not enough memory in the computer I was using. Ordered the game ahead of time to play in the beta release, couldnt because see above. Then when I got the game, I was sent the wrong one and had to send it back only to have them send it back cause I had opened it. So I ordered it from another store, got it and the real problems started. Dialup is supposedly supported but I have had more problems, had to change settings on my dial up and my video card even though the video card I have is supported. I will be playing the game and I freeze up, cannot go anywhere etc. This usually happens when I am in the middle of a fight with 5 others in a group. I usually die and or am left behind and die trying to get to where the group is now. I have some friends I run with in the game and they have gotten used to it but when I group with others, it is never a good time. Now for the game itself, there is little to no solo material. Now, I know D&D is about groups and adventures but if no one wants to group with me and none of my friends are on and there is no solo material for me to play, I am not playing the game. And, now it has started to become boring. I could go back to WoW, do not see the point. I am tired of it. Played it a year, now I am done. EQ2, I will never play, bad taste in my mouth from EQ1. I am thinking of getting The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, the 4th or 5th game in the Daggerfall world, solo in there. Uh...
This is not where I wanted to go when I started this entry. I was talking about how lonely I am and then I want to change to a non multiplayer computer game. Really shows just how mixed up I am. I am missing something in my life, that is what is causing my loneliness. What I am missing I have no clue. And the more I think on it, the less I know at all.
*Update* My computer will not run Oblivion as it is set up now. So, that game is also out of the running.
**Update #2** If anyone has any suggestions for a new computer game I can try out, leave them in the comments area of this post.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
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