My skin is too thin. I take things personally when I know that I should not. I do not know how I can change as I have been this way all of my life. I have tried in the past to work on thickening my resolve and I think I have gotten better until something happens or something is said and I am right back where I always have ended up.

all my friends are married
every Tom and Dick and Harry
you must be strong
to go it alone
here's to the bachelors
and the bowery bums
and those who feel that they're the ones
who are better off without a wife

I like to sleep until the crack of noon
midnight howlin' at the moon
goin' out when I wanto, comin' home when I please
I don't have to ask permission
if I want to go out fishing
and I never have to ask for the keys

never been no Valentino
had a girl who lived in Reno
left me for a trumpet player
didn't get me down
he was wanted for assault
though he said it weren't his fault
well the coppers rode him right
out of town

I like to sleep until the crack of noon
midnight howlin' at the moon
goin' out when I wanto, comin' home when I please
I don't have to ask permission
if I want to go out fishing
and I never have to ask for the keys

selfish about my privacy
as long as I can be with me
we get along so well I can't believe
I love to chew the fat with folks
and listen to all your dirty jokes
I'm so thankful for these friends
I do receive

I like to sleep until the crack of noon
midnight howlin' at the moon
goin' out when I wanto, comin' home when I please
I don't have to ask permission
if I want to go out fishing
and I never have to ask for the keys

repeated regret

not getting out earlier

I still beat myself up for mistakes I made 20 years ago

I am not as busy as I would like to think that I am.

Organizing

This is the one out of my three words I am having the worst time motivating myself into doing. I have a habit of "collecting" a lot of things and not getting rid of most of those things so it starts to pile up fast. I have attempted to clean and organize many times over the years.

This is something I have struggled with most of my life. The only times I was successful was when I was living with my parents, living with a roommate, and living with my girlfriend(ex-girlfriend now). I seem to do better when there is someone else effected. It has been just me for 8 plus years now and the piles are large in some places.

I know I need to get it organized. I know I will feel better once it is done. It is such a huge undertaking. I know it will take much time and energy. Those are two of the reasons I do not do more. I am also afraid that once it is cleaned up I will let it get messy again. It is what I have done many times over. I need to find away to break that pattern.

Have thought of downsizing what I have, getting rid of not just the mess but some of the other things like books, DVDs, magazines, clothes and other items that just sit around and I do not use and in some cases I have forgotten that I even own. I am also afraid to ask people for help as I do not want them to see the way the house is. I have planned in the past to clean some of the worse areas and then ask people to come in and help with the rest of the house. Perhaps that is still a plan that I can carry out.

All of these thoughts have come from exercises in the book I have been reading: Amazing Things Will Happen by C.C. Chapman. The goodreads' blurb for the book says:

    "Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen. "Amazing Things Will Happen" offers straightforward advice that can be put into action to improve your life."

If you want to start on the path to amazing things, check out this book. It is a short read. I could have read it in one sitting but did read it in less than a day. I am on the second read through now. It offers advice on how to look at the good and the bad in life and how to start yourself on the path to the life/job/career/relationship you have dreamed of and never figured out how to start.  Oh, and get a notebook. Nothing fancy. Just have one handy as he has exercises that will get you thinking. 

Motivation

Have not been exercising as much over the past two weeks. I had two teeth pulled and just now I am feeling back to normal. I am planning go back to Morrow Mountain this weekend. I also have plans to visit Reed Gold Mine and the Pee Dee National Wildlife Refuge.The camera will be coming with me.