nonesuch #343

When was the last time you logged into myspace? yeah, me too. Facebook is getting that way also. I stay on facebook cause a good friend will be using it has her connection back here after she moves to England at the end of the month.
Have grown so tired of both of those and the so called online social networking scene really. Think it stems back to bad experiences with online dating or maybe I am really getting old and people in general have started to bother me more than they used to. Nothing in particular, but there are things that in the past I would let go but now I do not and most times do not go there anymore. Its getting more and more like that with some friends of mine and that is what bothers me. Either they are becoming the asshats we always said we would not become or it is me that is becoming the asshat I swore I would never be. Or it may be that I need to dewire, unplug for awhile, enjoy other things, go green, read a book, turn on, tune in and drop out, or dare I say, "find myself". How 90s of me and I apologize. How 70s of me.
Reading "On the Road" again. For some reason it hits on so many levels with me, the physical journey itself and Sal's personal more spiritual journey to find where he fits in the world and to prove himself to his friend who ultimately one by one let him down and all alone. And even he knows he is being used and he does not care but he must, or at least I think he must. It triggered Kerouac to write "On the Road" in the first place, and "Dharma Bums" and "The Subterraneans" and others. Something sparked for him somewhere along the line and he went with it.
And maybe that is my problem, no sparks are hitting or they are so weak, I am not getting a charge or it takes so much to get the brain going on things that I have conditioned myself to not even try anymore. Is that getting old? Perhaps. I have heard that you are only as old as you think you are and I always, even when I was much younger, I always felt older than I really am. And in those teen years and before, I wanted to be older. Nowadays, not so much. So maybe the older I get the younger I need to think but will that have me ending up in clothes that I am 20 years too old to be wearing in the first place, driving a red convertible, with a really bad hippie-esque to the shoulder hair in a Member's Only Jacket thinking I am hot shit? I still have a Member's Only jacket, it is only a matter of time before they are back in style. And hey, didn't that guy in the restaurant in the Soprano's, wasn't he wearing a Member's Only Jacket? You know, the one sitting at the bar across from Tony. It could happen.
So I am sure you are asking yourself where is he going with this. Nowhere, nowhere at all.