Nonesuch #124

I have mentioned okcupid.com in a few of my previous posts. I must say that I do not know why I keep going to the site. It's not like anyone messages me other than Russian women looking for a free ticket to America. No thank you. I wrote about "The Friend" label I seem to have about a week or so ago but now okcupid has had us retake our okcupid test which is a personality test that puts you in one of 32 "dating categories". Before, I was "The Gentlemen", not too bad I would say but now, I am "The Boy Next Door" or the Random Gentle Love Dreamer. And I will quote the rest of the description:

Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.

We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.

On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.

Great, now even people that do not even know me know that I am a LOSER when it comes right down to it. Perhaps people already knew and just could not or would not tell me. I wish someone had and then maybe I would not have wasted all these years trying to be something I can never be. I have given up on "real love" and relationships in general.

"The Boy Next Door" = "Nice guys finish last"


Is there a point to all this? I will be taking down my okcupid profile. No point there. Maybe I will try online dating sites again in the future, I never completely shut doors but no one out there hold your breath. To be honest, I don't much want to continue here either. I don't see much point but then I find cool things I would like to post about like radio.blog or the new supposed video from Loose Fur, the side project of Jeff Tweedy, Glenn Kotche, and Jim O'Rourke. Or that Sonic Youth has a new album coming out in June called Rather Ripped and they have re-released these albums from their past: 'Sonic Youth', 'The Whitey Album'by Ciccone Youth and Thurston Moore's 'Psychic Hearts'.
I would love to put up radio.blog on this blog but I need a server to do that and I just do not have access to one of those right now. So, I will link to An Aquarium Drunkard who has a great mix on his radio.blog player. Check out the rest of his site as well. Great stuff. Listening to a Foamfootshow from 1994 at the moment.
It's crazy, I was about to stop blogging and I find things I want to share. Isnt that like life in general? Maybe if I stop looking for a good woman, one will come along. Well, that is what I thought happened almost 5 years ago with my ex. I have got to stop falling back into the trap I call the coulda shoulda wouldas. Hindsight is 20/20 but you can also blind yourself by looking too long directly at the sun.

Nonesuch #123

From the Onion,
20 Wonderfully Irrelevant Andy Griffith Show Conversations

Nonesuch #122

My weekend - A Post

This is what I did this past weekend. I guess this is a list post but I will not be using numbers.

I got some chinese food, General Tsao's Chicken and an eggroll

Watched March Madness - Go Duke

Played almost too much Dungeons and Dragons Online Saturday 12+hrs(more on that later)

Ate nothing but hotdogs and peanut butter sandwiches and BBQ potato chips on Saturday

Went to Lowe's and bought a new lawnmower, a new flapper for the toilet, some lawnmower oil, some strong industrial link locks, Drano gel

Found out that Diet Sun Drop is not that bad. If only it was make with Splenda

Did a load of laundry

Mowed about 1/4 of my yard. Need to pick up sticks before I can finish

Went to CVS to get new batteries for my wireless mouse and some Cadbury Creme eggs and a bottle of gatorade.

Did too much thinking, something I tend to do when I am alone. My brain will wander across all my years, people I know and knew, romances and the girls involved, wonder where they are, how they are doing, why the relationship(s) ended, why they did what they did and why I let them get away with it. Can a person be too nice? I often wish that I was more of an asshole, one of the bad boy types. My exes seem to gravitate towards them, sometimes before we breakup. My memory for some things is so vivid, I hate that. It used to be handy for school and practicing for playing Trivial Pursuit and telling folks I was going to be on Jeopardy.

Got my hawesome t-shirt from Nickerblog Thanks Shane> Need to drop him an email to let him know it got here. Hawesome, it is sweeping the nation.

Found an unfinished bag of jelly beans that I bought earlier this year. They were still good. It has mostly white and black ones left in it. I am saving those for later.

Thanks to Whitney over at Pop Candy I have more newly discovered bands to add to my iPod including:

Art Brut
What Made Milwaukee Famous
The Boy Least Likely To

Really like "The Boy Least Likely To". Very catchy pure pop stuff. One day I will go to SXSW


And I told someone I did nothing this weekend

Nonesuch # 121

Someone close to me did what my ex did. I am having mixed feelings about staying friends with her. I know she did not do it to me but it feels like it. It brought back the memories of what happened to me, hitting close to home. I tried not to transfer my feelings of my broken relationship on her, but I did. I cannot apologize for how I feel, she knows how I feel. I do not like lying, in any of it's forms. Be it a small lie or a whopper: deception is deception is deception.

And why tell me? Cause I am "The Friend"

Not that having friends is a bad thing, but sometimes a person needs more.

Let me explain. No, let me sum up.

By "The Friend" I mean this: I have noticed that when I first meet a girl and there is a that "click", I tend to question myself, "Hmmm, I wonder, should I ask her out?". By the time I get around to actually getting up the nerve, we are friends and by then, that subject should no longer be breached. And no matter how great the movie is, "When Harry Met Sally" just does not happen. I used to think that friends would be a good starting point for a relationship, but after two really messed up ones where the endings were anything but nice, I have seen the error of my ways or maybe it just is the error of my choices of women? Either way, I do not have these women in my life anymore. Though, who's to say that if I remained "The Friend" we would still be friends today? No way to know.

But, was I playing safe even back then?
Perhaps...

Is playing safe and afraid of being hurt the same?
Another perhaps...

I am tired of going through the coulda, woulda, shoulda's in my brain and not getting anywhere. I know there is no point in looking into the past, it certainly does not help my frame of mind, but I do not know what else I can do but replay and replay.

Nonesuch #120

I don't talk too much about game shows but I enjoy watching them very much. If could have only two channels to watch forever, it would be The Food Network and the Gameshow Network. I remember as a kid, being sick and being able to watch the morning game shows, "The Price is Right", "Classic Concentration", "Super Password", and "Press your Luck". Host Peter Tomarken made "Press Your Luck". I still use the phrase, "BIG MONEY, NO WHAMMIES". I think he came back to host "Whammy!" an update of the classic game on the Gameshow Network but it was not the same.

Peter Tomarken and his wife, Abigail, died yesterday morning when their small plane crashed into Santa Monica Bay.

Other gameshows he hosted include:
Hitman
Wordplay
Monopoly
and Bargain Hunters.


Peter Tomarken 1942-2006

Nonesuch #119

I Am a Liberal. There, I Said It!


**Update** - Actor Didn't Actually Write Blog, But Stands By Statements

Nonesuch #118 - Matisyahu

When I first heard of the reggae-hasidic artist from Brooklyn, NY I was not sure what to think, but after listening to the samples from iTunes, the infectious rhythms, grooves and lyrics of Matisyahu were instantly download to my ipod and have played nonstop. Then I have tried to find everything by him, he only has 3 cds, "Shake Off the Dust...Arise" from 2004, "Live from Stubb's" released in 2005 and "Youth" just released this week. You can learn all about him here:

Matisyahu

I have "Live from Stubb's" and "Youth" but cannot get my hands on "Shake Off the Dust...Arise". Granted most of the songs are on the "Live from Stubb's" cd but I am compelled to have all that he has put out.

Check him out. Rinse, repeat.

(thanks to Pop Candy for the tip)

**Update**- Matisyahu Interview

Nonesuch #117 -

Attempted stream of conscience blogpost:

Tuesday, its not really Monday anymore, but why does it still feel like it?

Over 2 months into 2006 and I do not feel like I have accomplished anything I said I would in this new year. It was going to be my year, things would be different but I find myself in the same frame of mind I have been in since October of last year.

"I am looking for a dare to be great situation." - Lloyd Dobler

I guess there really isnt anything I can do about that except keep on keeping on. But that is what I have been doing for so long now..not doing things on spur of the moment(that can be dangerous), not following through with things I want to do for myself(beach or mountains trip). I have always done for other before I did for myself and I do not see anything wrong with that but when am I going to do for myself, just once?

Dana Reeve , 1961-2006

Kirby Puckett 1960-2006

Watched the Oscars Sunday night, well sort of. I was playing the new Dungeons and Dragons Online game and listening to the broadcast, turning around every so often to see what someone was wearing etc. Really enjoyed John Stewart, been a fan of his since his before MTV talk show(favorite moment, Elizabeth Shue grabbing his "package", the look on his face was priceless)when he was just another stand up comedian. My, they grow up so fast. Other than his performance and the Three 6 Mafia song, I was not impressed. I had watched the Oscars every year since 1990 but last year, I slept right through them and I didnt feel like I missed anything. I do not go to movies like I used to, didn't see any of the nominated films at all this year. That is another thing I wanted to do this year, get back going to the movies regularly. It is tough when movies are almost $10 for one ticket where I live. I know it is more in some places but still, $10 when I can wait a few months and rent the same movie for around $2-$4 and enjoy it in the comfort of my own home?

I start these things off with so much I want to say and then I lose it. Not very stream of conscience afterall...

Nonesuch #116 I know it's only Rock and Roll...

Anne and Wil Wheaton will be participating in the Rock and Roll Marathon, a 3 day event to raise funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. For more information on how you can help, follow the link below:

Rock and Roll Marathon