I have mentioned okcupid.com in a few of my previous posts. I must say that I do not know why I keep going to the site. It's not like anyone messages me other than Russian women looking for a free ticket to America. No thank you. I wrote about "The Friend" label I seem to have about a week or so ago but now okcupid has had us retake our okcupid test which is a personality test that puts you in one of 32 "dating categories". Before, I was "The Gentlemen", not too bad I would say but now, I am "The Boy Next Door" or the Random Gentle Love Dreamer. And I will quote the rest of the description:
Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.
We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.
On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.
Great, now even people that do not even know me know that I am a LOSER when it comes right down to it. Perhaps people already knew and just could not or would not tell me. I wish someone had and then maybe I would not have wasted all these years trying to be something I can never be. I have given up on "real love" and relationships in general.
"The Boy Next Door" = "Nice guys finish last"
Is there a point to all this? I will be taking down my okcupid profile. No point there. Maybe I will try online dating sites again in the future, I never completely shut doors but no one out there hold your breath. To be honest, I don't much want to continue here either. I don't see much point but then I find cool things I would like to post about like radio.blog or the new supposed video from Loose Fur, the side project of Jeff Tweedy, Glenn Kotche, and Jim O'Rourke. Or that Sonic Youth has a new album coming out in June called Rather Ripped and they have re-released these albums from their past: 'Sonic Youth', 'The Whitey Album'by Ciccone Youth and Thurston Moore's 'Psychic Hearts'.
I would love to put up radio.blog on this blog but I need a server to do that and I just do not have access to one of those right now. So, I will link to An Aquarium Drunkard who has a great mix on his radio.blog player. Check out the rest of his site as well. Great stuff. Listening to a Foamfootshow from 1994 at the moment.
It's crazy, I was about to stop blogging and I find things I want to share. Isnt that like life in general? Maybe if I stop looking for a good woman, one will come along. Well, that is what I thought happened almost 5 years ago with my ex. I have got to stop falling back into the trap I call the coulda shoulda wouldas. Hindsight is 20/20 but you can also blind yourself by looking too long directly at the sun.
6 comments:
Keep blogging Jonathan. It's fun!And find an online dating service that won't tell you stupid things like okcupid does. What they wrote to you was downright disrespectful. No way in the world should you use them to find a match for you. Give yourself some time to heal and then get back to dating again, and enjoy yourself. You are certainly NOT a loser.
Thanks. Blogging is fun and it does help to put my thoughts and ideas online, funny how 10 years ago we all would have said on paper.
okcupid was and is a joke. The matches it did make for me, I would email and get no answer. Also, my matches were 10 + years younger than me in most cases. Not really matches in my opinion. There just are not many women my age on that service, not from what I have seen. To be honest, I am in no frame of mind to be in a relationship. Even though it has been almost 6 months since Sue did what she did, I am just not ready. Bottom line, I am lonely. That was the main reason I went on there. And in the end, it didnt do anything to change that.
I wish I could just be happy. Something is missing, has been missing even before Sue and I broke up. Just do not know what it is. (sigh)
Maybe it's something you need to do for yourself, not what you from someone.
"need from someone" is what I meant to say. I'm typing too fast.
You are right. Just not sure what that could be. I know I need a vacation. Been thinking about going to the beach for over a year now, just need to set the plan and do it.
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